


Through the dark

by Sadlyamundane



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: 3x10 to include Raphael cuz who gonna stop me, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-16
Updated: 2018-05-16
Packaged: 2019-05-07 23:16:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14681505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sadlyamundane/pseuds/Sadlyamundane
Summary: “I’m a monster” he sobbed quietly.“You’re not” Raphael placed his hand over Simon’s and squeezed it. “I know you, and you are no monster Simon Lewis”





	Through the dark

“Simon, Simon let her go” The voice that rung through Simon’s ear was soft and commanding all at once.

His eyes snapped open but he was still too focused on quenching his thirst. “Simon, listen to me, you have to let her go” the touch on his shoulder was cold, he felt as if ice was seeping through his jacket “let her go” 

Simon’s body shook from the haunted thoughts that flooded his mind once he realized what he had done. “Oh my god” He choked on the words and felt the burn on his lips, Becca’s body laid limp in his arms. “Is she?” he couldn’t actually finish the question.

Raphael’s hands checked Becca’s pulse before signaling for Kyle to pick her up. “She’s still breathing” Simon hesitantly stood up while Raphael and Kyle took care of Becca.

He didn’t have it him to see what had happened to Heidi. There was a pounding in his ear, he watched as his mother picked up a knife and held it up, stopping him from getting closer. “You’re not my son, you’re a monster” her words echoed through his head. 

He felt a paper bag being pressed to his chest and then he was being ushered outside. The night was oddly still, the only sound was the distant wailing siren. Simon sat on the cold stones in back yard of his childhood home. He didn’t feel hungry anymore, but he drank the blood regardless, he needed the taste of his sister’s blood out of his mouth. 

“I’m a monster” he sobbed quietly.

“You’re not” Raphael placed his hand over Simon’s and squeezed it. “I know you, and you are no monster Simon Lewis”

Simon shook his head in disbelief “let me know when you almost killed your sister” his eyes widened once he realized what he had said. 

Raphael’s eyes closed as he took a deep breath “Simon, you don’t know the things I’ve done, I killed my friends when I was first turned I killed my own sire and several mundanes before Magnus found me. Things are hard now but you’ll make it through this, you thought you were a monster once before but you did so much to show that you’re not. Heidi manipulated you and hurt your family. You did best you could” 

Simon laughed bitterly “Really? You’re going to say the things I want to hear but you’re only here so that I don’t cause trouble for your clan, then tomorrow you’ll want me dead as well and besides, you hate me”

“That’s not true, if someone from the clan needed to clean up your mess, it wouldn’t be me. Not anymore at least”

Simon turned to look at Raphael “What do you mean, isn’t it your job as c-“

“I’m not clan leader anymore” Raphael looked away but Simon didn’t take his eyes off of him “After what I did to Heidi, Isabelle banished me from the city”

 

“Then how did you know to come here?”  
“Just because I’m not clan leader anymore doesn’t mean my relationship with the clan in severed or with the people in city. I got a call and came as soon as I could”

Simon finally looked away from Raphael, there were many questions he wanted to ask but decided against it. An uncomfortable silence hung in the air until Raphael spoke again “And for the record, I never wanted you dead and I don’t hate you” 

“Yeah?” Simon snorted “you have an odd way of showing that”

“You’d be defensive too if you got betrayed by someone you cared deeply for”

Raph” Simon looked at Raphael again 

Just then the back door opens and Raphael moves his hand off of Simon’s he hadn’t realized it was still there. 

“Simon, they’ve taken your mom and sister to the hospital, Heidi escaped” Isabelle made a point of not looking at Raphael which Raphael was grateful for. “We can take a cab there it would be faster. 

Simon got up and held out his hand to Raphael and helped him up. “Alright, will you go with us?” he asked Raphael and ignored Isabelle’s glare. 

“No he’s forbidden from entering the city. I could have you locked up and sent to Idris for this” Isabelle gritted her teeth. 

“On what bases do you hold these charges?” Raphael had accepted her banishment once, he hadn’t thought it through, but time away from the city had given him the time to think “it’s funny that shadowhunters can torture downworlders and no one gets banished, when downworlders harm other downworlers, you people don’t bat an eye except when it’s convenient” 

Isabelle’s icy glare faltered “You lied to me”

“Isabelle that’s not fair and you know it”

Simon held onto Raphael’s hand, there was a gawking feeling of jealously that settled into the pit of his stomach. He had heard about their relationship but he didn’t think it could be real. 

Isabelle turned around and walked off without another word. 

“Hey you okay?” Simon stepped closer to Raphael. 

“Yeah, let’s get to the hospital okay?”

Simon’s hands froze and jaws clenched “I can’t, Raphael I can’t look at my sister, not after what I’ve done, I’m a monster”

Raphael pulled Simon into his arms and held him close as he cried “you’re a good man Simon Lewis and we’re going to get through this together”


End file.
